Sick in the sun

Today I was in Isla Roatan. I should really think about booking some excursion adventures just to have some better stories to tell you. Today I battled a slow WiFi signal as I was sending out emails to the Toronto contestants who are doing Stand Up & BITE Me on Friday May 27th. If you want to come to see a LIVE taping of the show, just send me an email: jason@jasonblanchard.com

This is the first time I’ve been sick on the ship and let me tell you something; being on a cruise ship in the hot tropical sun is WAY BETTER than being sick in cold and rainy Milton Ontario. I sat out side for a bit in the sun with my Kobo eReader & cold ginger ale. Once I started to sweat I came inside to the air conditioning and got a chai tea. Rough day I know.

Tomorrow we will be sailing into Costa Maya… one of my favorite ports! Why? That’s easy – $20 for a 60 minute massage. Time to find the woman with the beefy arms and who doesn’t like men very much. I’ll try to get some pictures of her flexing.


2011
05/19
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Busy busy busy

(I can’t load any pictures…. argh!)


It has been a busy few weeks. Sorry about not updating the blog… my focus has been on Stand Up & BITE ME, a show I host & produce on BITE TV. There are 32 comedians competing for the $10,000 grand prize.

Last Thursday I flew to Vancouver with the BITE crew, Jason Agnew, Rick, Mike Fly and 600 lbs of camera & lighting equipment. to shoot the first two preliminary rounds at Lafflines Comedy Club.

The manager James and the owner Barry were absolutely fantastic to work with. On the first day of filming we got to the club at 9am so we could get set up: iron & hang a new back drop, set up lights & cameras. Then in the early afternoon the comedians who were performing that night started to arrive for their interviews. Lucky for us, it was a beautiful day so we filmed them outside. Do you know what you don’t bring to Vancouver that we really could have used? Sun screen. I was wrangling the comics: getting them into makeup, preparing them for the interview and taking them to the shoot location so I was fine. But the crew got pretty burnt.

The first night of shooting went very well. When I was warming up the crowd or filling time with material it was great. The TV hosting part was a bit rough so we had to do a number of retakes. That being said, apparently I looked sharp wearing my new vest.

Day two was much easier as there was no set up. There was a bit of stress as we ran behind schedule on the interviews because it started to rain. THEN one of my judges was a no show but thankfully I was able to find a replacement just before showtime.

All in all it was a success and I think the show will look amazing when it airs on BITE TV May 27th.

Right now I am on the Carnival Dream… sailing to Isla Roatan Honduras.


2011
05/17
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Heading back to the Caribbean…

After two weeks on dry land it is time to head back to the ships. This will be a 19-day trip & I’ll be on three different Carnival ships; the Valor, Pride and Ecstasy.

The Pride was my very first cruise ship so it will be nice to go back. Most of the faces will have changed from that inaugural voyage but the Assistant Cruise Director Pete is an awesome guy who I worked with on the Destiny. PLUS, a friend who used to work at Absolute Comedy in Toronto Anna, now runs the comedy club on the ship.

My cab driver in Belize was this crazy local with the worst teeth I have ever seen. His front teeth were at a 45 degree angle. I TRIED to get a picture but non of them turned out.

2011
04/21
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Hanging out with a Legend…

Mike MacDonald dropped by the club last night to do a practice set before going to the Halifax Comedy Festival this weekend. If you don’t know who he is, then you are not a true stand up comedy fan. Mike has done it all. Here is what it says on his Wikipedia page:

He has appeared on Late Night With David Letterman, The Arsenio Hall Show, Just For Laughs, Showtime’s Comedy Club All-Star Show, A&E’s An Evening at the Improv, and Comedy Central’s The A List. His popularity continues to soar in both the US and Canada. He has hosted both the Gemini Awards and the Just For Laughs 10th Anniversary Special for the CBC. MacDonald also holds the distinction of being the only comedian to perform at each and every Just For Laughs gala show.

Mike is one of those rare performers that have stood the test of time. He is always writing new material and working on new stuff. The first time I saw him perform was at a club in Mississauga less than a week after New Orleans was hit by a hurricane. The host went up and did a joke about what happened in Louisiana, it died and she “shit the bed” for the rest of his set. Mike got up on stage and did the opposite. He rocked the room for an hour. It was amazing and inspiring to watch.

If you have get a chance to see him live… you should definitely do it!

2011
04/14
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Having fun in our Nation’s Capitol…

My hosting week at Absolute Comedy was a blast… it always is. Such a fun and easy club to perform in. Thankfully only one Bachelorette Party the whole week and there was awesome. They didn’t interrupt the show once. I even go the bride to be to come up on stage and help me with my gag-reflex joke.


I found new dress pants. For some this would not be something to blog about but I was able to find pants that are wrinkle & stain resistant, light-weight material and they have a SUPER crease… and they look good in the crotchal region. If I could only find a new “stage” shirt. Finding the right one is not easy. There are many things to consider: how it looks, does it wrinkle easily, if I sweat does it show…. If you find one, I will offer a reward.


Along with the shows at the club I had a corporate gig on the Friday night. So once I finished the 8:00pm show, I walked up thestreet 600m to perform a clean set in front of about 100 teachers and their spouses. Not sure when this happened, but I am having FUN at corporates now. Normally they are hard work and a lot of comics get rather anxious doing them… Hell, I used to dread the thought of performing after a company luncheon or following a sales seminar. On this night I was opening for a friend, a comic I have know for years and during his introduction I forgot his last name. Ugh…. it is something that happens to every comic but damn did I feel horrible. My apologies to RICK CURRIE!


Sorry about the lull between blogs… that Xbox is my heroin.

2011
04/13
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In Ottawa…




My travel day to Ottawa was great… I love a flight that is less than an hour. This is the first flight in a long time that I checked luggage so I was prepared to stand around and wait 20 or 30 minutes before seeing my bag on the conveyor belt. In the amount of time it took me to exit the plane, visit the washroom and walk to the baggage area (less than 10-minutes) my suitcase was there ready for me.





For this trip I packed my Xbox 360 Elite for my two week stay in the nations capitol. That is the reason I didn’t write a blog yesterday. I’m such a child…










I created, host and produce a comedy contest on BITE TV and I am very excited that it is back for season 3… more info to come!
2011
04/07
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Jason Blanchard Ottawa Absolute Comedy Stand-up-and-bite-me
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HOME…..

…. but only for 14 hours.
My flight back to Canada from Miami was pretty good. Two out of three of the big “NOs”. No one beside me and No delays. Technically there wasn’t a crying baby, there was a SCREAMING baby. At one point I stood up to make sure they weren’t torturing the child with bamboo under the finger nails. Again Westjet did a fantastic job of being the best airline I fly with. The flight attendants are ALWAYS in a good mood. Michelangelo was the guy doing the announcements and he had the passengers actually laughing out loud.
My night consisted of laundry and hanging out with my kids. After of few minutes of “talking” to them about some silly choices they have made lately we chatted about fun stuff, watched a movie and had a donair from Halifax Donair in Milton. Damn they are good.
Today I fly to Ottawa where I will be MCing this week and headlining next. Happy to be working with a couple of friends Brendan McKeigan and Matt Billon. Another trip with Westjet…

2011
04/05
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Old friends and new friends in Cozumel


The first time I was on the Destiny I met a fellow Canadian who worked in the Art Gallery. Travis is hilarious. Even though he and his girlfriend Natasha have been to Cozumel many times they had never eaten at La Choza. It is my favourite restaurant in Mexico and now it is theirs too. The food is absolutely delicious and the service is amazing… AMAZING. Over the course of our meal we had 5 different servers. As soon as the drinks were done they were there with more, when the chips and La Choza sauce (which is scrumptious and spicy) were low, they brought anoth

er batch. Travis even brought the mariachi band over to our table to play some Santana. Such a good time.





On the way to find a cab we went past the Tequila Boutique; over 350 kinds of tequila. Some of the bottles are rather large.




After that I went by Three Amigos to hang out with some of the entertainment staff who were having a little get together. Since the ship wasn’t leaving until 10:00pm I had a lot of time to chat and make some new friends. Wow… can my new friends drink!



2011
04/03
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No Key West for me…

When a ship I’m on is going to Key West, I never get excited. Mainly because there is never really enough time to do anything cool as the ship always has to leave early… around 2:00pm. But on this day I wasn’t allowed ashore at all. No I did not get in trouble, it is all about having an I95 landing permit. We get those the first time you land at the ships home port after you board and we don’t do that until… oh yeah, the day I leave the boat to go home. The ship I just left took my I95 when I left the boat, so I will make sure to hold on to it the next time I go from ship to ship. Not a big deal but it is odd that I can go into the US anytime I feel the urge when I am back home.

Just found out friends of mine paid over $100 each to go see Charlie Sheen LIVE. Are you kidding me? All you have to do is watch his online videos a few times to know that he has nothing new to say. The same diatribe over and over and over. You need a night out? I might be biased, but take that money and go to a local comedy club and have a great night laughing at someone who is being funny on purpose… not because they are over medicated (although that could be the case too however most comics hide that well).


2011
04/01
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Some travel days are NOT stressful…

Today was one of those days. All it took for me to get to the ship today was a 30-minute shuttle ride. The great thing was the driver was on time, the vehicle was clean and had a working air conditioning system. Saul was a friendly guy too. He is originally from El Salvador and has been living in Miami for 11 years. He loves living in the US and LOVES being an American. He is finally visiting his birth place to see his family… his biggest worry is not the crime or dangerous areas it is getting diarrhea from drinking the water.


I like the Destiny. This is the ship I have been on most and it feels “homey” cause I know where everything is; PLUS it is comforting to see some familiar faces like Gary, Maria, Del and Travis. Tonight I am doing a 3-5 minute teaser set at the Welcome Aboard show. These are actually a lot of fun for me now.



Tomorrow the ship will be in Key West. Unfortunately, there is not a lot of time for me to do much as the boat leaves at 2:00pm. I’ll definitely go ashore, I just won’t be there long.

2011
03/31
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